Fall is definitely here. The air is chill and damp, the last roses have been picked from the garden, there are a few tomatoes and cucumbers which will neveer ripen now. The heat has just been turned on in the house.
Fall used to energize me. These days I want to stay cocooned in my home, reading a great noverl, sipping tea, and keeping an eye on the latest polls.
But I know my mood is just as likely to change if my fibro abates for a bit, and I will want to go trekking with the dogs and hubby, plant tulip bulbs, reorganize my closets and bake some new breads.
Mostly I want to appreciate the present, and be grateful for small mercies and kind friends.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
My Health
Dear Readers,
This will be an essay on what I have learned about my health in the past few years. I have worked in healthcare since 1997, and over the past four or five years I have come to need more and more healthcare for myself. A mysterious illness or syndrome was coming and going with increasing regularity, yet all test were "normal". Poor sleep, flu-like aches and pains, gastric distress, and the worst stiffness imaginable in the mornings. At first I was sure it was the onset of MS or Parkinson's or perhpas ALS or MS....But although the episodes were awful, I was not becoming more debilitated. I went through a lot of additional tests and nothing was found. Finally my doctors told me that by a diagnosis of exclusion they had determined that I have a chronic pain syndrome known as fibromyalgia.
This illness has changed my life, and I am trying to keep it from changing the essential me. Although many sources say that the condition tends to be time limted and may even lessen over time, I and many other sufferers dispute that.The newest research also counters that supposition. Certainly my episodes of malaise have increased in frequency and my medication dose has had to be doubled to have the same effect it was having previously.
More often than not I struggle to get out of bed and face the day . The morning may bring headache, joint pains, stomach issues, neck and shoulder pain, or extreme fatigue, singly or in evil combinations. The temptation is to call in sick and spend the day under the covers. Sometimes it takes every ounce of determination I have to keep from doing that, and to push forward, telling myself, "It will get better" even if I don't really believe that "it" will..
Part of the curse of this condition is that it is invisible. Once I am dressed, hair fixed,, make-up in place, no one can tell that I have pain throughout my body and all I want to do is sleep.I guess that is both a blessing and a curse. But even the common cold wins some support for you when you drag yourself in to work in spite of it. This thing I have gets me no points, no sympathy, no one offering to bring me a hot tea, or do a task that I don't feel up to doing myself..It is just me and my body facing this awful day...alone.
The upside is that on the good days I am so filled with appreciation and gratitude, and wonderment that feeling 'normal;' can be such a delight! So fibromyalgia, my nemesis, my demon, my plunderer, has also become my benefactor, in an odd way. It is an ill wind that blows no good, the saying goes, and it is a true one.
May most of your days be good ones.....or at least delightfully normal.
This will be an essay on what I have learned about my health in the past few years. I have worked in healthcare since 1997, and over the past four or five years I have come to need more and more healthcare for myself. A mysterious illness or syndrome was coming and going with increasing regularity, yet all test were "normal". Poor sleep, flu-like aches and pains, gastric distress, and the worst stiffness imaginable in the mornings. At first I was sure it was the onset of MS or Parkinson's or perhpas ALS or MS....But although the episodes were awful, I was not becoming more debilitated. I went through a lot of additional tests and nothing was found. Finally my doctors told me that by a diagnosis of exclusion they had determined that I have a chronic pain syndrome known as fibromyalgia.
This illness has changed my life, and I am trying to keep it from changing the essential me. Although many sources say that the condition tends to be time limted and may even lessen over time, I and many other sufferers dispute that.The newest research also counters that supposition. Certainly my episodes of malaise have increased in frequency and my medication dose has had to be doubled to have the same effect it was having previously.
More often than not I struggle to get out of bed and face the day . The morning may bring headache, joint pains, stomach issues, neck and shoulder pain, or extreme fatigue, singly or in evil combinations. The temptation is to call in sick and spend the day under the covers. Sometimes it takes every ounce of determination I have to keep from doing that, and to push forward, telling myself, "It will get better" even if I don't really believe that "it" will..
Part of the curse of this condition is that it is invisible. Once I am dressed, hair fixed,, make-up in place, no one can tell that I have pain throughout my body and all I want to do is sleep.I guess that is both a blessing and a curse. But even the common cold wins some support for you when you drag yourself in to work in spite of it. This thing I have gets me no points, no sympathy, no one offering to bring me a hot tea, or do a task that I don't feel up to doing myself..It is just me and my body facing this awful day...alone.
The upside is that on the good days I am so filled with appreciation and gratitude, and wonderment that feeling 'normal;' can be such a delight! So fibromyalgia, my nemesis, my demon, my plunderer, has also become my benefactor, in an odd way. It is an ill wind that blows no good, the saying goes, and it is a true one.
 |
| Charlotte Christobel Petunia, My Comfort |
Monday, September 3, 2012
Going TV-Less, Sort Of.....
Hello Readers,
I have just returned from an amazing week away in Canada in a cottage with no TV or internet. Just my lowly unsmart phone and the radio to keep me connected to the outside world. After a few hours of thinking, "Oh no! What have I done?" I soon discovered that I did not miss electronic media at all. So , now I have decided to see if after a week of cold turkey I can reduce my TV habits considerably.
What to do when not watching TV?
Read. Reading is wonderful and now I will have time for all those books stacked on my nightstand.
Knit. I never finish my projects or learn new techniques. Now I can!
Write. Voila! I am writing. I also have some children's books and a novel in the works. Maybe they will see completion now...
Talk. My husband and I shared some wonderful conversatuons without the boob box stealing us away from each other.
Nap. Yes, without TV there is time for a week end nap! Heaven!
Garden I can tend to my garden better. No longer am I worried that I am missing some talking head or the next installment of ...whatever.
Clean. I know, I know, not the most inspiring activity but who doesn't love a clean, orderly home, and who among us working types ever has enough time to get it all done? I am not there yet, but I can see
time opening up when I will be able to tackle those projects and not feel that I am depriving myself of something good. I am not. I am clearing out my head and refreshing my soul, as well as my closets!.
This has only been day one of the experiment. Today I : napped; read the newspaper; worked on a report for my job; chatted for a good 20 minutes with my lovely neighbor; cooked a new recipe for dinner; did laundry; took the dogs for a long walk; cleaned the kitchen after dinner,; on-line shopped a bit; played with the cat; and now I have begun a blog. Okay, I did watch about 10 minutes of Serena Williams whup up on her opponent at the US Open, but I was not tempted to watch more TV.( I will watch the finals, every minute of them. I am a tennis player (very bad) and I love watching the champons.)
Tomorrow is a work day so I doubt I will have any trouble sticking to my resolution.
I will probably watch a bit of the DNC convention, but not much. Radio news can fill me in on the highlights, such as they might be. I am pretty disgusted with both parties at this point....
That is it for tonight people. If you are actually out there. I am new to this blogging thing so bear with me. It will probably get somewhat more interesting as time goes on....
And if any of you have toyed with the idea of giving up TV, try it. You might be as surprised as I was.
Judith Rose
I have just returned from an amazing week away in Canada in a cottage with no TV or internet. Just my lowly unsmart phone and the radio to keep me connected to the outside world. After a few hours of thinking, "Oh no! What have I done?" I soon discovered that I did not miss electronic media at all. So , now I have decided to see if after a week of cold turkey I can reduce my TV habits considerably.
What to do when not watching TV?
Read. Reading is wonderful and now I will have time for all those books stacked on my nightstand.
Knit. I never finish my projects or learn new techniques. Now I can!
Write. Voila! I am writing. I also have some children's books and a novel in the works. Maybe they will see completion now...
Talk. My husband and I shared some wonderful conversatuons without the boob box stealing us away from each other.
Nap. Yes, without TV there is time for a week end nap! Heaven!
Garden I can tend to my garden better. No longer am I worried that I am missing some talking head or the next installment of ...whatever.
Clean. I know, I know, not the most inspiring activity but who doesn't love a clean, orderly home, and who among us working types ever has enough time to get it all done? I am not there yet, but I can see
time opening up when I will be able to tackle those projects and not feel that I am depriving myself of something good. I am not. I am clearing out my head and refreshing my soul, as well as my closets!.
This has only been day one of the experiment. Today I : napped; read the newspaper; worked on a report for my job; chatted for a good 20 minutes with my lovely neighbor; cooked a new recipe for dinner; did laundry; took the dogs for a long walk; cleaned the kitchen after dinner,; on-line shopped a bit; played with the cat; and now I have begun a blog. Okay, I did watch about 10 minutes of Serena Williams whup up on her opponent at the US Open, but I was not tempted to watch more TV.( I will watch the finals, every minute of them. I am a tennis player (very bad) and I love watching the champons.)
Tomorrow is a work day so I doubt I will have any trouble sticking to my resolution.
I will probably watch a bit of the DNC convention, but not much. Radio news can fill me in on the highlights, such as they might be. I am pretty disgusted with both parties at this point....
That is it for tonight people. If you are actually out there. I am new to this blogging thing so bear with me. It will probably get somewhat more interesting as time goes on....
And if any of you have toyed with the idea of giving up TV, try it. You might be as surprised as I was.
Judith Rose
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